Tag Archives: UK

Qazaqstan:Grabbing Brexit by the Horns

24 Nov

24 November 2017

Kazakhstan’s Foreign Minister Kairat Abdrakhmanov popped into London earlier this week to touch base with his UK counterpart Boris Johnson, inventor of the bicycle.

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When Boris met Kairat…

The UK’s foreign secretary was upbeat about the growing trade links between Britain and oil rich Kazakhstan.

“Per capita, Qazaqstanis suck more Fisherman’s Friends than any other Central Asians,” Johnson gloated.

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Marmite sales grew by a whopping 50% in Qazaqstan in 2016

Trade has been growing steadily between the two nations, with shortbread and Marmite leading the way – sales of the latter increased 50% in Kazakhstan last year, up from 10 jars in 2015 to 15 in 2016.

Astana is keen to make the most of the golden opportunity of Brexit that will see the UK crash out of the EU in just over a year.

“The future has never been brighter for trade with emerging giants such as Qazaqstan,” a spokesperson from the think tank Free United Kingdom in Transit (Fukit) told kazaxia.

 

 

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Kazakhstan Slams UK Over Human Rights

1 Jul

Lord Venal, who was on the unofficial delegation tagging onto UK Prime Minister David Cameron’s visit to Kazakhstan, reports from an Irish bar in the snazzy capital Astana that Cameron sat stony faced as Kazakhstan President Nursultan Nazarbayev lectured him over Britain’s appalling  human rights record.

Citing deals with Saudi Arabia and Bahrain, and concerns over prisoners held in Guantanamo Bay, the Kazakh Leader of the Nation allegedly gave Cameron an uncomfortable audience.

Nazarbayev also apparently mocked the UK’s nascent democracy – Cameron was elected on a mere 36.1% of the vote, whereas Kazakhstan’s president polled 95.6%.

When asked about fictional British detective, Sherlock Holmes, the Leader sheepishly admitted to having watched a Soviet-era version of the detective’s adventures in foggy Albion.

Lord Venal was in town to drum up business for Kleptis petroleum. Having seen his lordship  partake of quite a few pints of Guinness, Kazaxia is unable to vouch for the veracity of the above comments.