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Fathers and Daughters

23 Mar

Ivanka Trump’s recent move into an office in the West Wing, despite her earlier protestations that she would not be taking a role in Daddy’s administration, has brought to mind another high-profile presidential daughter of recent times, Uzbekistan’s Gulnara Karimova.

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Fathers and Daughters: Islam Karimov, Donald Trump, Gulnara Karimova and Ivanka Trump (photo borrowed from a tweet via @AmbKennedy_ret)

In American politics, there is little precedent for a president’s daughter taking on an advisory position in the White House. Maybe it is fitting to look at the rise and subsequent fate of the daughter of Uzbekistan’s late president Islam Karimov.

Gulnara Karimova, also known as GooGoosha, was once a high-flyer in Uzbekistan, dabbling in telecoms, show-business, high fashion, charity and construction – some even spoke of her as being next-in-line to the throne, but she suffered a spectacular fall from grace in March 2014 when she was placed under house arrest in Tashkent following a huge corruption scandal. Little has been heard of her since.

Keeping this in mind, Ivanka had better make sure she doesn’t get the wrong side of Daddy Trump, who is said to model himself on Karimov, the strongman president who ruled Uzbekistan for 25 years until his demise in September 2016.

Trump’s campaign slogan, “Make America Great Again,” is said to be modelled on Karimov’s “O’zbekiston kelajagi buyuk davlat” (Uzbekistan, the state with a great future).

These two cantankerous old guys both share a hatred of the free press, are prone to making bizarre off the cuff remarks, bear grudges indefinitely and are fiercely opposed to what they see as Islamic extremism.

Ivanka should be mindful of GooGoosha’s fate, or else she may find herself locked up in a shed in the White House grounds.

Panto Season Opens Early in Central Asia

23 Nov

Along with extreme snowy weather, the pantomime season has arrived early this year in Central Asia.

That veteran performer from Uzbekistan, GooGoosha, will recreate one of her most famous roles on the Tashkent stage – Sleeping Beauty. The audience will no doubt revel in shouting “Oh yes she is!” and “Oh no she isn’t!” as it ponders whether she is dead or merely sleeping.

There will be plenty of opportunities for shouts of “Behind you!” with a host of suspects lining up to surprise the slumbering princess – such as the ugly sisters (played by Security Service head Rustam Innoyatov and his sidekick, presidential hopeful Shavkat Mirziyoyev) and the real life figures of her estranged mother and  her younger sister, Lola.

Across the border in Kazakhstan, there are plans for a revival of ‘Carry on Cleo‘, with the infamous line “Infamy, infamy. They’ve all got it in for me!” The past year has seen trouble on all sides for Astana with land protests metamorphosing into a coup plot led by a beer baron, and religious militants on the rampage in Aktobe, so it seems apt that this comedy classic will get a fresh lease of life.

 

GooGoosha’s Gilded Cage

1 Apr

Gulnara Karimova, who has been under unofficial house arrest since March 2014 in Tashkent, is set to be moved to a gilded cage in the centre of the city as part of a deal brokered by Lord Venal on his recent visit to Uzbekistan’s capital.

Tashkent's Palace of International Forums - GooGoosha's new home?

Tashkent’s Palace of International Forums – GooGoosha’s new home?

Karimova, better known by her stage name of GooGoosha, is the eldest daughter of Uzbek pensioner Islam Karimov, Under the new deal she will be housed in the grandiose Palace of International Forums, which was built at the height of her power in the late 2000s. Since then she has had a spectacular fall from grace.

In her new surroundings, GooGoosha will be able to shop to her heart’s content in a private shopping mall in the palace’s basement – modelled on Barbara Streisand’s personal mall.

GooGoosha and Gerard in happier times

GooGoosha and Gerard in happier times

The complex will also include a medical centre for botox and other cosmetic surgery needs, along with a dedicated yoga ashram. A private nightclub will host holograms of her pals Sting and Gerard Depardieu for impromptu duets.

Residents of Tashkent are happy that a use has finally been found for the imposing white marble edifice, considered by many to be a white elephant.

Googoosha – How Dare!

17 Sep

Shocking photos of a haggard looking Gulnara Karimova grappling with a police officer have been leaked from Uzbekistan.

In the words of one of her famous songs in her guise of pop diva Googoosha, she seems to be saying ‘How Dare‘ to the cop.

Let’s hope she’s not giving her captors the ‘Round Run‘ in those nice slippers.

Karimova is the eldest daughter of President Islam Karimov. She has suffered a spectacular fall from grace spending the last seven months under house arrest in Tashkent, Uzbekistan’s capital.

Uzbekistan: Googoosha Ensnared by Wizard of Uz

25 Mar

In a shocking new twist to the tale of Googoosha, Lord Venal has received a hand-written note smuggled out of Uzbekistan from the secret location where the fallen princess is being kept under alleged house arrest.

The note was written in lipstick on the back of a Sarbast beermat after the evil henchmen of a sinister and mysterious figure – referred to by Googoosha as the Wizard of Uz – confiscated all the pens and pencils from her gilded cage.

Googoosha claims that the Wicked Witch of West Tashkent, her mother Tatiana Karimova, has cast a spell that has cut off access to twitter in her prison.

In the note she calls on Lord Venal to help her find a yellow brick road away from this nightmare scenario, but with the net of corruption allegations closing around Googoosha in Europe, not even the good Lord and his contacts may be able to rescue this princess.

GooGoosha update: Hollywood Insider Provides Insight into Gulnara Karimova’s ‘Problems’

13 Mar

The following is a post from Kazaxia partner-in-crime the Spektator.

Gulnara Karimova, daughter of Uzbekistan’s President Islam Karimov has been complaining of a tough life of late, portraying herself as a victim of her father’s police state on Twitter and suffering under house arrest while the powers that be conduct raids on what remains of her business empire and her little sister calls her a bitch. But apparently it has all been an act – literally – the proceedings have all been part of elaborate preparations for Guli: The Film, expected to be released early next year.

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When Googoosha met Gerard … (taken from fergananews.com)

Gulnara came to us with an enormous budget and informed us she wanted to play the lead role in an autobiographical film called Guli: The Film. The problem was the film didn’t have a storyline,” explained a Hollywood source familiar with the screen play to Kazaxia yesterday.

We told her that every character worthy of a film has to have an arc. Take Frodo in Lord of the rings, for instance. No-one would want to make a film about a hobbit that just went around routinely extorting bribes from mobile phone companies and stealing restaurants from other hobbits,” the source continued. “A strong lead needs to go from rags to riches or vice-versa. At the time the idea of the film came about Gulnara’s arc was just a flat line of slightly controversial fashion shows, hostile takeovers in the Uzbek economy and oriental-kitsch music videos that no-one seemed to be watching. We needed something to actually happen in her life, so we got in touch with Gulnara’s father, Islam.”

Calling Gulnara, 41, “a great method actress”, the source refused to divulge the plot of Guli: The Film but confirmed that Karimova’s mother, Tatiana, had kindly agreed to play the role of a wicked witch that plans Karimova’s downfall, while Karimova’s personal friend, Gerard Depardieu, is set to play Rustam Inoyatov, the grizzly head of Uzbekistan’s SNB security service. Curiously the source also confirmed that Adam Sandler had auditioned for a role as a foreigner “who gets lost in Tashkent and meets a beautiful Uzbekistani princess”.

The source did admit there had been “some creative differences” between Karimova and the makers of the film. “Gulnara views the story as a high drama but we view it very much as a comedy. We are trying to win her over,” the Hollywood insider disclosed.

Mars to Pluck GooGoosha from Goo Goo Muck?

22 Nov

GooGoosha has found herself increasingly in the goo goo muck of late as the end game looks increasingly nigh in the first major battle of the war of succession in Uzbekistan.

With her empire crumbling in recent weeks and criminal cases swirling around her, the singer cum jewellery designer cum diplomat may want to consider alternatives to rotting in an Uzbek jail.

Her options may be limited, though. She’s being pursued in Europe in fraud cases, has issues in Russia over the shutting down of MTS in Uzbekistan. America is not keen  – she has history there involving kidnapping allegations going back to 2002.

But help could be at hand from an unexpected source as Mars announced it would be willing to offer sanctuary to the troubled princess.

The Martian authorities told Kazaxia that on the red planet she would be immune from prosecution and free to continue her singing career and charitable work without interference.

Exile on the red planet may indeed be preferable to spending time in one of her father’s torture complexes such as the horrific Jaslyk prison camp.