Tag Archives: Guinness

Kazakhstan Slams UK Over Human Rights

1 Jul

Lord Venal, who was on the unofficial delegation tagging onto UK Prime Minister David Cameron’s visit to Kazakhstan, reports from an Irish bar in the snazzy capital Astana that Cameron sat stony faced as Kazakhstan President Nursultan Nazarbayev lectured him over Britain’s appalling  human rights record.

Citing deals with Saudi Arabia and Bahrain, and concerns over prisoners held in Guantanamo Bay, the Kazakh Leader of the Nation allegedly gave Cameron an uncomfortable audience.

Nazarbayev also apparently mocked the UK’s nascent democracy – Cameron was elected on a mere 36.1% of the vote, whereas Kazakhstan’s president polled 95.6%.

When asked about fictional British detective, Sherlock Holmes, the Leader sheepishly admitted to having watched a Soviet-era version of the detective’s adventures in foggy Albion.

Lord Venal was in town to drum up business for Kleptis petroleum. Having seen his lordship  partake of quite a few pints of Guinness, Kazaxia is unable to vouch for the veracity of the above comments.