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Inspirational New Kleptis Book Series: Magnarum Rerum™

25 Oct

kazaxia has news of another inspirational new Kleptis book series: Magnarum Rerum™

As the gift-exchanging season approaches, what better way to inspire your friends than with the new series Magnarum Rerum™ of Latin translations of the works of Central Asia’s inspirational leaders?

Following in Vladimir Putin’s bold footsteps, Kazakhstan’s Nursultan Nazarbayev – memorably dubbed the “Cicero of the Steppes” by his faithful biographer Jonathan Aitken – finds his true voice in these translations, where the presidential words echo sonorously and timelessly and bring out the profundity of thought.

Gurbanguly Berdimukhamedov – dubbed “Berdy the Bard” by his adoring populace – has not only his lofty speeches rendered into elegant Latin, but his songs too, complete with ancient musical notation for those who wish to perform them.

Lord Venal, the founder of what promises to be a highly successful series, rejects suggestions it is merely an imitation of the recent Orationis Selectae of Vladimir Putin’s works. “Maior e longinquo reverentia, as we were taught in my rather minor public school,” the learned Lord exclaims. 

Plucking another memory from his far-off schooldays, he turns to the barman who is dilatory in bringing his cocktail. “Vel mihi ede potum vel mihi redde nummos meos!” His companion smiles meekly.

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Armenia Welcomes Green-fingered Macron

12 Oct

12 October 2018

France’s president Emmanuel Macron has taken his spade to Armenia where he is helping to spread the gardening craze that started in Central Asia.

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Earlier this year, France’s most enthusiastic horticulturalist was in the US where he did a spot of gardening on the White house lawn in his effort to alleviate the threat of climate change.

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Googoosha Lives?

4 Oct

5 October 2018

Rumours are reaching kazaxia from Tashkent that the artist formerly known as Googoosha, Gulnara Karimova, has been released from prison and placed under house arrest once again.

GooGoosha and Gerard

Googoosha and Gerard Depardieu in happier times…

According to totally unconfirmed reports, she has been spotted picking cotton in Jizzak region and near Qo’ng’irot in Karakalpakstan. Back in the day, Googoosha was big yoga fan and now it seems she’s indulging in a bit of karmic yoga by helping out with the harvest, on a totally voluntary basis, of course.

 

Kleptis Inspirational Books in Translation™

4 Oct

4 October 2018

Sometimes books just cry out to be translated, as nations unfamiliar with inspirational classics linger unjustly in the darkness of ignorance. Kleptis has now stepped in to meet the challenge with a new range of books to be translated from English into the five main Central Asian languages.

The first two books in the new series form a unique double-bill, the first and second editions of a rare book, published by Pelican Books in Scarfolk with cover designs by the inimitable Richard Littler.

“I’ve often been bothered by pesky books that spread complete lies about one,” Lord Venal wrote in his endorsement of the new series. “I was enjoying a cocktail with Emomali the other day and he said exactly the same. These books clearly have resonance here in the region.”

The new series complements the highly sought-after and inspirational collection of translations from the Central Asian languages into English of presidential memoirs, speeches and guides to rallying in desert conditions. “No home should be without this collection proudly adorning one’s shelves,” Lord Venal adds.

“I feel both these series will make a crucial contribution to international understanding, just as my encounters with young people, particularly of the opposite sex, achieve on the personal level,” the modest Lord ventured.

Disclaimer: For reasons unconnected to Kleptis, some books in the series might not be available to purchasers within Central Asia.

 

Desktops for Despots

28 Sep

28 September 2018

Kleptis Elegant Presidential Desk Ornaments™

Putin

“Mine’s the biggest!”

Important Advisory Notice from Shilling and Pence

It has come to our client’s notice that untrue, fallacious and unsubstantiated rumours are circulating that their unique malachite range of elegant presidential desktop sets, so widely favoured by occupants of presidential office in the Kremlin in Moscow and across the region, somehow conceal listening and monitoring devices designed to eavesdrop on conversation, computer and mobile phone communications.

Jeenbekov.jpg

“Are you sure you want to hand it over?”

Our client absolutely, completely and utterly refutes, rejects and contests these unfounded rumours. They are absolutely without foundation, substance or basis.

Kleptis Elegant Presidential Desk Ornaments™, a company long established in the British Virgin Islands, sells these distinguished ornaments in good faith and solely, completely and utterly for the sole, only and unique aim of providing pleasure to our customers.

Poroshenko

“Mine’s got chocolate inside”

For the avoidance of doubt, anyone considering, contemplating or preparing to repeat such slanderous claims must stop, cease and desist.

Sargsyan

“Can you get me one at least this big?”

Lord Venal of Whissendine in the County of Rutland, while in no way, manner or form connected to the company either directly, indirectly or via any third party, whether financially or otherwise, has also asked us to make absolutely, thoroughly and utterly clear that any repetition of these unfounded, untrue and slanderous claims will be met with a robust legal response, whether in the courts of the British Virgin Islands or any other appropriate jurisdiction.

Shilling and Pence, London EC4

Berdy

(Tracksuit not included)

Lord Venal adds: These elegant malachite sets to grace any presidential desk – adorned with your country’s coat of arms or national flag – are still available exclusively for those of presidential rank. Prices start from $499,000, including shipping and installation.

Islam Karimov: A Life in Pictures

3 Sep

03 September 2018

It’s been two years since Uzbekistan’s first president Islam Karimov shook off this mortal coil.

To mark this momentous occasion, we have collected together some images from an exhibition on the life and times of President Karimov held earlier this year in Tashkent.

We hope you enjoy them as much as we did!

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Astana Turns 20

10 Jul

10 July 2018

kazaxia is just back from a trip to the capital, Astana, which celebrated its 20th birthday last Friday, coincidentally the same day as President Nursultan Nazarbyev turned 78.

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To mark this momentous occasion, the good burghers of Qazaqstan kindly sent presents to Astana such as a fish-shaped bridge and a botanical garden, while the city also received an international financial centre, soon to be located on the premises of EXPO 2017.