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Astana’s Death Star Heading for London?

26 Jan

26 January 2018

It looks like Lord Venal’s lobbying is finally paying off as bigwigs in London have agreed to his ambitious scheme to bring Astana’s Death Star to the UK capital’s skyline.

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Astana’s Nur Alem, aka The Death Star, which London wants to ape

Plans were unveiled on Wednesday for the Golf Ball, a daring declaration of intent for post-Brexit Britain. According to the plans seen by kazaxia, a huge glass orb, dwarfing St Paul’s Cathedral, may be constructed by east London’s Olympic Park.
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London’s proposed riposte to Astana’s Death Star – the Golf Ball

Lord Venal was so impressed with Expo 2017’s Nur Alem pavillion, dubbed the Death Star by one hack, that he started hassling his London contacts to bring a similar Star Wars-themed glass globe to London.
“In these Brexitian times it is vital that London match Astana in its global ambition if it wants to remain a key financial centre after Britain crashes out of the EU,” the good Lord told kazaxia.
“That’s why London needs its very own Death Star to show the world that, like Astana -the fruit of Elbasi’s great vision, it is open for business.”
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Qazaqstan:Grabbing Brexit by the Horns

24 Nov

24 November 2017

Kazakhstan’s Foreign Minister Kairat Abdrakhmanov popped into London earlier this week to touch base with his UK counterpart Boris Johnson, inventor of the bicycle.

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When Boris met Kairat…

The UK’s foreign secretary was upbeat about the growing trade links between Britain and oil rich Kazakhstan.

“Per capita, Qazaqstanis suck more Fisherman’s Friends than any other Central Asians,” Johnson gloated.

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Marmite sales grew by a whopping 50% in Qazaqstan in 2016

Trade has been growing steadily between the two nations, with shortbread and Marmite leading the way – sales of the latter increased 50% in Kazakhstan last year, up from 10 jars in 2015 to 15 in 2016.

Astana is keen to make the most of the golden opportunity of Brexit that will see the UK crash out of the EU in just over a year.

“The future has never been brighter for trade with emerging giants such as Qazaqstan,” a spokesperson from the think tank Free United Kingdom in Transit (Fukit) told kazaxia.