Top o’ the Morning to Ya, Ashgabat!

14 Mar

image001-3

             Shamrock in Ashgabat: President’s new Irish pub to open on St Patrick’s Day!

image003

 

Ashgabat’s Irish community are excited over the imminent opening of the city’s Irish pub, due on 17 March – St Patrick’s day. President Gurbanguly Berdymukhammedov is showing a personal interest, visiting the future venue to give the staff the benefit of his experience in styling party venues for the masses.

image004

The venue admittedly looks rather bare at present, especially the area projected for the beer garden. But President Berdymukhammedov’s inspiration, combined with detailed instructions to the workers, will ensure the complete fitting out of the exciting new venue by the celebrated date.

image002

“This will be right up there in Ashgabat’s social calendar,” Lord Venal, our regular friend barside, enthuses. “My charming young assistant has already put it in my diary.” He is intending to fly in for the event and expects, as is customary on his visits, to also be received at the presidential palace.

Advertisements

GooGoosha Lives!

6 Mar

6 March 2019

Sensational reports have reached kazaxia’s ears claiming that Gulnara Karimova, the errant first daughter of late Uzbek president Islam ‘Butch’ Karimov, is alive and, hmm, probably not so much well, and still in Uzbekistan.

Screen Shot 2019-03-06 at 21.15.22

GooGoosha in happier times with her mate Gerard 

Karimova, known to her legion of fans by her stage name GooGoosha, disappeared form public view in 2014 and was long rumoured to be under house arrest in Tashkent. Now Uzbekistan’s General Prosecutors Office has confirmed that she was indeed being held in her apartment in Tashkent, accompanied by her daughter Iman.

While she may have been expecting to celebrate 8 March, International Women’s Day, with what remains of her family at home with some flowers, chocolates and a new iron, those plans have now been scuppered – the former pop diva and leading fashionista has been sent back to prison to complete her five-year term for ‘violating’ the terms of her domestic detention.

It seems she just couldn’t resist getting back on social media….

Lord Venal’s Stocking Fillers

21 Dec

As the end of another year approaches, Lord Venal is back with some great gift ideas for Christmas, New Year or whatever tickles your fancy.

Screen-Shot-2018-12-19-at-17.33.33.png

Rose-tinted Specs

Whilst in the attic of Venal Hall looking for the tree decorations, the good lord came across a box of rose-tinted spectacles from an election observation trip to Kazakhstan some years ago.
With reform fatigue beginning to affect seasoned Uzbekistan watchers, these glasses are the ideal medium to regain your enthusiasm for the ‘unprecedented’ changes taking place in Tashkent and beyond.
Screen Shot 2018-12-19 at 17.45.57

Dark Shadows: Inside the Secret World of Kazakhstan

Top of the Lord’s books of the year, this masterful tome by journalist Joanna Lillis, who takes a look at Kazakhstan in a wide-ranging trip across this fascinating country.
Some of Lord Venal’s old cronies are featured in the book, although he was reported to be a bit upset that his own sterling election observing in Kazakhstan over the years did not feature.
Screen Shot 2018-12-19 at 17.44.07

Black Sea

Food book of the year goes to Caroline Eden’s blend of travelog and recipes from around the Black Sea. This book solved many of Lord Venal’s gift dilemmas this festive season. It’s a great companion to 2016’s Samarkand.
Lord Venal wishes you happy holidays, wherever you are!

Kazakhstan: Yellow Vests – Nothing to Fear

18 Dec

Kazakhstan has poured scorn on the Egyptian model of banning the sale of yellow hi-vis vests for fear of the people. In a characteristic twist, Kazakhstan’s political leadership – far from quaking in their boots at the sight of people on the streets sporting the hi-vis jackets – insists that they are a symbol of the population’s helpfulness.

“The Leader of the Nation never go out without his hi-vis vest, he’s always on the look-out for someone in need,” an Akorda spokesperson told a French journalist recently (albeit in the warmth of the Akorda royal palace). “When you see Emmanuel, tell him how different Kazakhs are, out on the street ever ready to help someone in need.”

image001-4

Topping everyone’s list of helpful people in hi-vis vests are the sturdy members of the police force. In all weathers they are out and about, always ready to lend anyone in need a helping hand.

image002-2

“I have often been helped on my way home by a smiling copper or two,” Lord Venal – long familiar with the streets of Kazakhstan’s cities – told Kazaxia. “Sometimes as dawn is breaking after one or two cocktails in a charming nightclub, I have become separated from my young companion and struggle to find my way home. But the charming young coppers never fail to step forward.”

Some Kazakhs point out the rare exception to this rule. “A few young folk like to walk around the streets with hi-vis jackets with the word ‘PRESS’ plastered on the back,” Masimov Karimov told Kazaxia. “That’s not really a very good idea.”

 

Dark Shadows: Inside the Secret World of Kazakhstan – The Cocktail

22 Nov

22 November 2018

kazaxia is in London for the literary event of the year – the launch of Joanna Lillis’s compelling book Dark Shadows: Inside the Secret World of Kazakhstan.

dark shadows cover

To celebrate this momentous occasion, we’ve teamed up with Knidos Cookery Club and have invented the Dark Shadows cocktail: a blend of one part vodka (Kazakhstan’s favourite tipple), three parts cloudy cider (apples are from Kazakhstan!), and a splash of blood-like Grenadine (or pomegranate syrup or juice) to convey something of the secretive nature of Kazakhstan. It makes the perfect companion when reading this gripping saga.
20181116_222825

Dark Shadows – the cocktail

Based on 13-years of on-the-ground reporting, this book lifts the veil to take a glimpse at what’s really going on in this Central Asian oil and gas powerhouse, making it the ideal stocking-filler for Kazakhstan fans. you can order a copy from the publisher, I.B.Tauris or look for a copy signed by the author in Foyles in London.
20181121_171418

Joanna Lillis signing copies of her book in Foyles, London

 

Inspirational New Kleptis Book Series: Magnarum Rerum™

25 Oct

kazaxia has news of another inspirational new Kleptis book series: Magnarum Rerum™

As the gift-exchanging season approaches, what better way to inspire your friends than with the new series Magnarum Rerum™ of Latin translations of the works of Central Asia’s inspirational leaders?

Following in Vladimir Putin’s bold footsteps, Kazakhstan’s Nursultan Nazarbayev – memorably dubbed the “Cicero of the Steppes” by his faithful biographer Jonathan Aitken – finds his true voice in these translations, where the presidential words echo sonorously and timelessly and bring out the profundity of thought.

Gurbanguly Berdimukhamedov – dubbed “Berdy the Bard” by his adoring populace – has not only his lofty speeches rendered into elegant Latin, but his songs too, complete with ancient musical notation for those who wish to perform them.

Lord Venal, the founder of what promises to be a highly successful series, rejects suggestions it is merely an imitation of the recent Orationis Selectae of Vladimir Putin’s works. “Maior e longinquo reverentia, as we were taught in my rather minor public school,” the learned Lord exclaims. 

Plucking another memory from his far-off schooldays, he turns to the barman who is dilatory in bringing his cocktail. “Vel mihi ede potum vel mihi redde nummos meos!” His companion smiles meekly.

Armenia Welcomes Green-fingered Macron

12 Oct

12 October 2018

France’s president Emmanuel Macron has taken his spade to Armenia where he is helping to spread the gardening craze that started in Central Asia.

Screen Shot 2018-10-12 at 13.34.39

Earlier this year, France’s most enthusiastic horticulturalist was in the US where he did a spot of gardening on the White house lawn in his effort to alleviate the threat of climate change.

Screen Shot 2018-04-24 at 15.34.54