Tag Archives: referendum

Tajikistan: Notes from the Inside

26 May

Whiling away the final hours before his 4 am flight out of Tajikistan in a pleasant enough nightclub in Dushanbe after a heavy few days of referendum monitoring, Lord Venal borrowed a piece of paper to note down the phone numbers of some very helpful ladies who might be of assistance next time he is on a monitoring visit. Only later did his assistant translate what was on the other side, and it appears to be the first page of minutes of a cabinet meeting on the day after the referendum. Lord Venal cannot vouch for its authenticity, but readers might find it rather charming.

Secret

REPUBLIC OF TAJIKISTAN

23 May 2016

Special Cabinet meeting to review preliminary results of 22 May 2016 referendum

Chair: President of the Republic

Present: Prime Minister and deputies, Interior Minister, Justice Minister, Defence Minister, Chairman of National Security Committee, Chief of Anti-Corruption Agency, Chief of Staff

President: Thank you for rushing here today – I know the whole cabinet could not make it. I think we can say that the referendum yesterday went very well. I was touched by the extent of the people’s support.

Chief of Staff: Yes, well done Dad.

Chief of Anti-Corruption Agency: Yes Dad, that was a good bit of work.

President: Now don’t you start getting ideas. I’m still going to be fit and healthy in 2020.

Chief of Staff: You tell him – I remember when he was born. What if I put all those photos of him up on Instagram? That would stop any chances he ever thought he’d have.

Chief of Anti-Corruption Agency: Look that’s not fair. And you used to boss me around when Mum wasn’t looking.

President: Look, kids, calm down. It was only a referendum. We can have them any time we want. But what we need to do now [text cuts off here]

 

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Tajikistan Mulling CentAsexit?

24 May

Lord Venal is just back from observing Tajikistan’s referendum, which gave a resounding yes vote to some controversial proposals.

After the referendum, that was conducted in a spirit of tolerance and democracy on 22 May, it is looking increasingly likely that Tajikistan will opt to leave Central Asia in a move dubbed CentAsexit.

Dushanbe has long contended that Central Asia in its current form is an undemocratic, Turkic-speaking club with the other members bullying poor little Tajikistan over water and its right to construct the Rogan dam.

Long-time leader, Shah Rahmon, whose unlimited term rights  were confirmed in the referendum, argues that Tajikistan would be a better fit in a Farsi-centric bloc called Middle Asia, comprising Iran, Afghanistan and the Tajik nation.

The referendum also paved the way for the Shah’s son to ascend the throne in good time. This will be following in the footsteps of other regional potentates such as Azerbaijan’s Ilam Aliyev who succeeded his father Heydar Aliyev, and Syria’s Bashar al-Assad, who ascended to the throne after the demise of his father, Hafez al-Assad. That all went well, didn’t it …

 

 

 

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Independent Scotland to Join Russia-led Customs Union?

5 Sep

With just under a fortnight to go until Scotland goes to the polls to decide whether to leave the United Kingdom, support for the yes camp has come from a surprising source – Russia.

Sergi Lossossoff a prominent figure in the world of Russian business, told kazaxia that Scotland would find a ready ally in Russia if it were to go down the rocky road to freedom.

“As a representative of the people of the ancient Rus, I think it is a great step that Scotland is taking to free itself from the tyranny of the crypto-fascist-Banderov London pseudo state. As we saw in Crimea, when people are given their voice, free from tyranny and oppression, they want to join Russia,” Lossossoff told kazaxia.

“Scotland would be welcome in the Eurasian Economic Union. The European Union is a decadent monolith that has had its day. Russia, along with the other members, [Belarus, Kazakhstan and possibly Armenia, Kyrgyzstan, Syria, Vanuatu and North Korea] would be only too glad to have as much haggis and whisky as our little Scottish brothers could supply,”he continued in reference to concerns that have been raised as to Scotland’s future in the European Union were it to vote yes.

There has been much talk about whether Scotland could retain the pound after independence. Lossossoff feels that Scotland need not worry about this as it could easily adopt the rouble to its benefit. “With the current parlous state of Russia’s currency, Scots with savings of just £16,500 [at current exchange rates] would immediately be turned into [rouble] millionaires,” he quipped.

Defence is another area that would not be an issue as Russia has unlimited supplies of ‘little green men’ who could be parachuted in at a moment’s notice to defend the territorial integrity of Scotland, according to Lossossoff, who has had meetings with his drinking buddy Captain Haddock, who is widely tipped to be Minister of Defence in any new Scottish state.

As to the question of the BBC’s role in a free Scotland, Lossossoff said that “Russia has always been a champion of a free and fair media, and unlike the biased BBC, we have a model in Russia Today that Scotland would do well to follow.”

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