Uzbekistan: Is Santa Ban Linked to Osh Violence?

19 Dec

Observers have reacted with dismay to the news that Uzbekistan is making moves to outlaw Santa Claus as the authorities in Tashkent call for Santa’s  Russian cousin Ded Moroz to be banned from the nation’s airwaves this festive season.

Kazaxia can exclusively reveal that the ban is not some spur-of-the-moment decision but is linked to a long-running dispute with its neighbour Kyrgyzstan. The Santa spat dates back to 2007 when Kyrgyzstan usurped the North Pole as the ideal base for the global present deliverer to base his operations. Tashkent pointed to a Stalin-era map which showed Santa’s new base to be in Uzbek territory.

The problem worsened when inter-ethnic violence broke out in Osh, Kyrgyzstan in 2010 between ethnic Kyrgyz and ethnic Uzbeks, leaving hundreds dead. Tashkent didn’t react at the time but has now decided to make it’s move by aiming to strangle a valuable foreign currency earner for Bishkek.  Not only are the Kyrgyz coining it in from  Santa Claus – who is  forced to pay an  extortionate rent for the mountain base, but the Russian’s have also got in on the act with a separate base for Ded Moroz, albeit at a much lower rate.

It looks like Santa Claus/Ded Moroz will be giving Uzbekistan a wide-berth this time round, so all that children in the country will have to look forward to is a visit from Evil Uncle Karim, Tashkent’s answer to the traditional present deliverer. Evil Uncle Karim comes with a sinister twist – after descending the chimney he steals the kids’ toys, raids their piggy banks and then drags them off screaming to toil in his cotton fields.

Kazakhstan: In Praise of the First President

1 Dec

Lord Venal has seen fit to put pen to paper as Kazakhstan prepares to celebrate the Day of the First President on 1 December, the country’s newest public holiday.

President Nursultan Nazarbayev bestrides Kazakhstan like a colossus – his image beams down from billboards on nearly every street corner. The Park of the First President is a fixture of all major towns and cities. Every evening he tops the TV news agenda meeting with dignitaries, opening factories and winning EXPO 2017 bids.

The First President awaits visitors

The First President awaits visitors

Wildly loved by his adoring public – he won 96.5 % of the vote in the last election, The Leader of the Nation, as he is also known, has worked ceaselessly over the last twenty-two years as he has steered the good ship Kazakhstan through turbulent waters to leave the country becalmed in a sea of economic prosperity and political stagnation.

He is one of the world’s longest serving presidents – only a few presidents have kept the throne warmer for longer than the glorious leader – Zimbabwe’s Robert Mugabe, Manchester United’s Sir Alex Ferguson and arch-rival Islam Karimov in Uzbekistan spring to mind.

Toys_4_NAN

The Nazarbayev University in his fairytale capital city, Astana, proudly carries his name as do a network of Nazarbayev Intellectual schools, which have mushroomed across Kazakhstan in recent years. The day cannot be far off when Nazarbayev kindergartens, fertility clinics and dating agencies will grace the provincial capitals.

I, along with my former cell mate, Jonathan Aitken, the famed hagiographer, who is in Astana to sing the praises of the First President yet again, would like to wish the Leader many happy returns on this the anniversary of the distant day back in 1991 when he won his first election along with the hearts of the Kazakh nation. Long may he reign – Kazakhstan’s very own Superkhan!

Uzbekistan: New GooGoosha Song?

23 Nov

Looking at pictures that GooGoosha posted on twitter recently, it looks like she is in not so secret rehearsal to do a cover of Iggy and the Stooges 1969 classic I wanna be your dog.

The pictures show GooGoosha in various yoga poses such as doggy style and it would appear that having conquered the world of vacuous, inane pop with her last hit Round Run, the Uzbek superstar is now targetting the rock genre.

Vintage Iggy in doggy style pose

Kazaxia has thus far received no reply from Iggy after we contacted him about the possibility of duetting with GooGoosha in a rehash one of his most famous moments.

Uzbekistan’s Gulies on Display in China

2 Nov

Are there no ends to the talents of Gulnara Karimova? After wowing the crowds in her native Uzbekistan at the recent Style.Uz Art Week , GooGoosha, the hard working university lecturer cum diplomat cum pop diva cum designer, is now showing off her latest Gulies in Beijing at the Mercedes-Benz China Fashion Week.

China’s fashionistas are presumably battling with one another to get their hands on GULI perfumes Mysterious (for women) and Victorious (for men), part of Uzbek President Islam Karimov’s eldest daughter’s latest offering to the world, the snappily named Collection Of Well-Being For Soul&Body by GULI.

How on earth does she manage to find the time to fit all this in her packed schedule?

Farewell Zhanaozen?

1 Nov

At the height of Stalin’s purges figures that had fallen foul of the authorities were routinely airbrushed from photos in the archives. Now it looks like Kazakhstan is preparing to take its own airbrush and erase the troubled oil-city of Zhanaozen from the map.

RFE/RL reports proposals to rename the city after Beket-Ata, a famed, locally-born sufi mystic from the eighteenth century. The proposals were said to have been made at a meeting of Mangystau Region’s Council of Elders on 27 October.

The move comes hot on the heels of the show trials that saw Kazakh opposition leader Vladimir Kozlov get sent down for seven years for fomenting the violence that erupted last December in Zhanaozen that, according to official statistics, left 15 dead.

The Kazakh authorities must be hoping with the removal of the pesky name  from the archives it can finally move on from this black mark on its post-independence story and the ghosts of Zhanaozen can be consigned to the dustbin of history.

Here Comes Central Asia’s Supergroup?

19 Oct

This clip of Turkmenistan’s President Gurbanguly Berdymukhamedov revealing his talent on the guitar, spotted by EurasiaNet, got Kazaxia thinking about other musical  members of Central Asia’s ruling families and the supergroup they could create if they were to get together.

Uzbekistan’s royal family has its very own pop star in residence, Gulnara Karimova, or to use her stage name GooGoosha, eldest daughter of President Islam Karimov. She could duet with part-time opera diva, Dariga Nazarbayeva, daughter of Kazakhstan’s President Nursultan Nazarbayev, while Berdy strums away in the background.

It’s not clear what Kyrgyzstan and Tajikistan’s ruling families could bring to the mix. Perhaps the Kyrgyz could supply the security, with their extensive recent experience of upheaval.  Maybe Tajikistan could carry the hat around the audience with all proceeds going to the Rogun dam project.

 

Kazakhstan’s Rio Hopes Crash in Vienna

17 Oct

Kazakhstan’s extremely faint hopes of making it through the group stages to the Rio 2014 World Cup were finally extinguished last night as it crashed to a 4-0 defeat at the hands of Austria.

Having drawn 0-0 with the Austrians last Friday in Astana to get its first point of the campaign on the board, Kazakhstan crumbled in the return fixture. In its opening four games Kazakhstan has conceded eight goals while scoring only one.

Only the Faroe Islands has a worse record with no points on the board, nine goals conceded but two scored.  Next up for the Kazakhs will be Germany in Astana in March, but realistically its hopes for more points will come in its clashes with the part-timers of the Faroe Islands in the battle for group C’s wooden spoon.

Kazakhstan: Beware of Flying the Flag

12 Oct

Kazakhstan will be hoping this evening to get their attempt to qualify for the Rio 2012 World Cup back on track as they entertain Austria in the Astana Arena. Having lost the opening two matches, Kazakhstan will be desperate to get some points on the board. Last October, when the Austrians were last in town, the Kazakhs pulled off a surprise 0-0 draw.

One thing Austrian supporters should be careful of is displaying their national flag as it is an offence in Kazakhstan to display the flags of other nations in public.

Kazakh fans should also be wary after a 23-year-old Atyrau resident was fined in excess of $2,000 for displaying the Kazakh flag on the bonnet of his car, as reported on Bnews.kz.

Under Kazakh law, the flag can only be placed in official places. The display on the car’s bonnet was felt to diminish the importance of the flag.

I just hope the authorities don’t discover the Kazakh flag bathtowel I was given as a birthday present a few years back. I’m sure my bathroom cannot be considered by any stretch of the imagination to be an official place!

Kazakhstan: Vino Bows Out

11 Oct

Kazakhstan’s star cyclist Alexandre Vinokourov has finally hung up his trouser clips as he brought his chequered pro-cycling career to a close with a win in the jubilee criterium race on the streets of his adopted home city of Monaco.

Vinokourov – known to his fans simply as Vino, had many highs and lows in his 14-year career as a pro-cyclist. He ended on a high note by taking gold in the Men’s Cycling Road Race in this year’s London Olympics, which he added to his silver medal from Sydney in 2004.

The lows included a scandal-hit Tour de France in 2007 when he was kicked out for failing a blood-doping test. This earned him a two-year ban from the sport. In 2011 he was embroiled in a scandal that saw him accused of bribing a fellow rider to let him win a race.

It is likely that Vino will now take up a position on the management side of the Astana pro-cycling team that was set up around him in 2006 by a consortium of Kazakh companies. Another option is politics in his native Kazakhstan – he was listed as a candidate for Nur Otan in January’s parliamentary vote.

However, the smart money’s on the high-life in Monaco and the buzz of the pro-cycling circuit rather than the somewhat less attractive lure of entering Astana’s turgid political scene.  If he does opt for Kazakhstan, then the cheating and corruption allegations will stand him in good stead for a life in politics.

His retirement comes at a time when  former Astana team mate, Lance Armstrong,  finally faces the music with the sheer weight of evidence provided by the United States anti-Doping Agency pointing to long-term,  systematic doping in Armstrong’s past before he joined Astana.

 

Kazakhstan: The Leader’s Fame Knows No Bounds

10 Oct

The cult of personality that has been developing around Kazakhstan’s President Nursultan Nazarbayev shows no sign of abating as a Kazakh artist unveils a huge canvas with the president at its centre and a town in Turkey names a street after the long-serving leader.

Kazakh artist Amanat Nazarkul’s masterwork “Astana — The City of Youth and Knowledge” depicts President Nazarbayev surrounded by adoring crowds with white doves flying overhead as he opens a new university facility in the his purpose-built capital city.

Nazurkul took nine months to complete the canvas which contains imagery that harks back to the glory days of socialist realism. He believes his labour of love, which measures 32 square meters, could well be the largest painting in the country — even the former Soviet Union — and is looking for experts to verify this.

AFP reported that the monumental work was commissioned by Maksut Narikbayev, a former politician and now president of the Kazakh Humanities and Law University.

The Turkish town of Kırşehir has jumped on the Nazarbayev bandwagon by naming a street after the man who has been running Kazakhstan since Soviet times. Kırşehir is more commonly associated with the Mevlevi school of Sufism and the mystical side of Islam but it’s now seen fit to call one of its streets after Kazakhstan’s former communist party head.

The governor of Kırşehir province, Ozdemir Kachadzhyk, called it a great honour to name a street after Nazarbayev and praised him with the following:

During his leadership the country has made great achievements, and has become a symbol of prosperity, peace and stability for many nations and states, including Turkey

In recent years President Nazarbayev has been featured in a film, a play, had a statue erected to him in an Almaty park, had a university and a network of schools opened using his name and appeared as the hero of a children’s fairy tale, leading many observers to believe a personality cult may be forming.