Venal Disses ‘Azerbaijani Laundromat’ Links

16 Sep

Lord Venal has angrily denied suggestions that he might have been a beneficiary of funds dished out by the “Azerbaijani Laundromat”. (Rather charmingly, it had to be explained to the Good Lord what a laundromat is – as well as why this term has been attached to a country he knows and loves.)

“If being polite and cordial to Azerbaijani gentlemen who ply one with caviar and handwoven rugs is a crime – I plead guilty,” Lord Venal explained. “If accepting the kind hospitality of such gentlemen who invite one to their delightful country, give one a veritable guided tour of their nightclubs where one can meet such charming young ladies, and depart from their country with one’s luggage slightly heavier than when one arrived, I can only say that polite gratitude is the height of manners that my parents taught me to respect.”

Lord Venal rejects insinuations that such hospitality offered him affected the way he presented Azerbaijan’s image around the world. “Azerbaijan is a delightful country, and no one needs to hand over wodges of cash for me to say so!” he snorts. “And the fact that I have – on numerous occasions – made pointed remarks about how beastly and ungentlemanly the Armenians are is wholly unconnected to my frequent visits to Baku. Besides, the Armenians have never ever invited me there.

Lord Venal also wishes to point out how vigorously he has worked to help his good Azerbaijani friends support the economies of a number of Caribbean islands out of their own personal funds. Such financial support can only be especially welcome in these trying times for the Caribbean.



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