Uzbekistan: ‘Butch’ Bites the Dust

5 Sep

News reaches kazaxia from Tashkent that Islom ‘Butch’ Karimov, who in a strange case of mistaken identity became president of Uzbekistan last year, has passed away, just a few days after his namesake Islam Karimov.

Found wandering the streets of Qarshi, Uzbekistan in February last year, Butch was whisked away to Tashkent to become president because of his remarkable likeness to missing president Islam Karimov.

‘Butch’ received his nickname for being a dead ringer of his near namesake, who was most famous for the role he played as the Butcher overseeing the bloody massacre in Andijan, Uzbekistan in 2005.

Unfortunately, Butch never got to realise his dream of emulating his hero, Zimbabwe’s Robert Mugabe, by staying in power for more than three decades but in a last request, he may live on as the ‘Eternal President’.

Earlier this week, Lord Venal received some intriguing documents detailing these last wishes. It is not clear whether the next president will act upon them.

Lord Venal was handed the documents in a Tashkent nightclub after a pleasant evening of dancing (not very expertly) and drinking (with more assurance). He was surprised at the good cheer all around, despite the drama being played out in a nearby hospital.

DECREE OF THE PRESIDENT OF UZBEKISTAN

On the title ‘Eternal President’

The First President of the Republic of Uzbekistan is to be awarded the title of ‘Eternal President’.

The title is to exist eternally and cannot be revoked or passed to another individual.

The holiday of the ‘Eternal President’ is to be marked on the anniversary of the birth of the ‘Eternal President’. Ceremonies are to be held at the monument in the capital Tashkent and all towns across Uzbekistan.

I. Karimov

President

29 August 2016

Tashkent

AMENDMENT TO THE CRIMINAL CODE OF THE REPUBLIC OF UZBEKISTAN

DRAFT

The Criminal Code is to be amended with the addition of the following article:

“The attempt to remove from the lawful incumbent the title of ‘Eternal President’ simply because the holder of the title is dead

– shall be punishable with a sentence of deprivation of liberty or imprisonment for eternity, with or without eternal confiscation of property.

I. Karimov

President

 

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