The Best Exotic Marigold Presidential Lodge

9 Sep

Are you an ailing dictator, struggling to maintain your country amid failing health?

Do you fear ending up bearing the burdens of state alone and with no support?

Were you shocked by Islam Karimov’s lonely final years and death?

If so, join the growing international trend of high-end presidential lodges. These lodges gather presidents from several neighbouring countries in a cluster of excellence, with all facilities a modern dictator expects, at affordable prices. In your sunset years, combine running your fiefdom with discreet and dignified support, surrounded by fellow men who appreciate your talents and gain inspiration from you in their own work to better their nations.

You have your own accommodation, fully serviced with all appropriate staff, but can interact with your fellow-dictators in the lounges and communal areas of the facility. Swap wisdom and anecdotes of days gone by. Discuss how to tackle those pesky problems that afflict even the most accomplished of dictators. Surround yourself with a supportive network of like-minded friends.

chilling-out

Afternoon tea is always a relaxing part of the daily schedule….

ready-to-rock-the-house

Evenings of light fun are just a moment away….

The Best Exotic Marigold Presidential Lodge offers many advantages:

– Seclusion when you need it to tackle weighty matters of state, friends on hand for light relief from the burdens of office

– Equipped with all the latest facilities, including dedicated studio for those nightly television addresses to the nation, complete with all relevant backdrops, national flags and accoutrements

– Dedicated runway 5 kms away to fly in cardiac surgeons and other medical personnel from Moscow, Germany and elsewhere, as well as key presidential advisers like Tony Blair (group rates can be negotiated for talks with more than one resident)

– Secure accommodation in separate block for those troublesome daughters if needed

– Guaranteed discretion for the final days of passing to avoid unseemly speculation by ill-informed citizens

“This is just what the late Islam Abduganievich needed to have avoided the loneliness and indignity of his final years” – a fellow regional president.

 

 

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