The Big Customs Union Fish Off

20 Sep

The results of the grand fish off competition that has kept Eurasian observers enthralled over the summer are finally in – and there’s a surprise victor.

Many observers expected that recent divorcee Vladimir Putin was a shoe in for the prize after he nabbed a monster 21 kilo pike in late July.

Not content with that feat, Putin followed up by nabbing Teddy Snowden, the NSA whistle-blower, in a Moscow airport.


Not to be outdone by Russia’s little macho man, moustachioed Belarusian head honcho, Alexander Lukashenko, landed a whopper catfish, tipping the scales at 57 kilos.

The biggest catch of the summer, however, went to the wily old fox of Kazakh politics, Nursultan Nazarbayev, who didn’t get his hands wet with fishing,but instead landed a prize catch in the form of fugitive billionaire banker Mukhtar Ablyazov, in France.

With Armenia set to join the Customs Union soon, next year’s competition is likely to be watermelon carrying; a sport at which the new kids on the Customs Union block excels at.


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