Semey: The Toughest Place to be a Waitress

9 Oct

There’s a BBC series called The Toughest Place to be a … which sends train drivers, midwives and suchlike from the UK to do their job in parts of the world where conditions are less amenable.

An  article from Tengri News  makes the city of Semey, in Eastern Kazakhstan, look like  an ideal location if they ever wanted to film ‘The Toughest Place to be a Waitress.’

The  story told how a disgruntled 20-year-old customer started punching her waitress  because she disliked the way she had been served.  It is true that  the quality of waiting staff in Kazakhstan leaves a lot to be desired, but Kazaxia feels that physical violence is not the answer, although sometimes it is tempting.

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Kazakhstan: Dangerous Bohemian Sentenced to 7.5 Years

8 Oct

The people of Kazakhstan can rest easy tonight as the leader of the gang thought to be behind the Zhanaozen violence last December, Vladimir Kozlov, was sentenced to seven and a half years for provoking the unrest and planning to overthrow the state.

During the trial in Aktau, Western Kazakhstan,  Kozlov, the leader of the unregistered Alga! party, was tagged by an ‘expert’ analyst as having a ‘Bohemian personality’.  This was most likely why he decided to form a gang with himself and tried to overthrow the state.

Astana will surely be in a ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’ as its court found Kozlov guilty of the charges laid against him in Kazakhstan’s first show trial of the post-Soviet era.

The whereabouts of Kozlov’s supposed ‘puppet master’ – Mukhtar Ablyazov, remain unknown since he fled Britain in March 2012 after being sent down himself.

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Uzbekistan: Land of Economic Opportunity

2 Oct

Lord Venal is back from his long summer holiday and has some investment advice for Kazaxia’s readers

Uzbekistan, often seen as a basket case economy by many observers, would seem to be the new promised land of economic opportunity, if a thought-provoking piece on Jamestown is to be believed.

Richard Weitz comments on moves taking place to make Uzbekistan an investor’s dream as the government strives to diversify the economy and make the country an attractive place to do business in.

The building formerly known as Bankland, Tashkent, Uzbekistan

He rightly points out that the role of cotton in the Uzbek economy is now lessening in favour of other industries. One sector that could prove interesting to investors  is the gold industry.  Since Britain’s Oxus Gold’s interests in a mine in Uzbekistan were handed over to its Uzbek partners in 2011 there has been a significant gap in the market for foreign investors to fill.

Opportunities abound in telecoms

The telecoms sector is another booming one in Uzbekistan. With the recent court cases opened against Russia’s MTS by the authorities in Tashkent, there should be plenty of takers for the company which was once the country’s largest operator.

One problem highlighted by Weitz is potential labour shortages in Uzbekistan with unemployment at a very low 1.3% according to the International Labor Organization. The Uzbeks have found a way around this thorny issue by sending school children and teachers  along with, university students and lecturers to help out with the cotton harvest.

Weitz cites ‘experts’ who feel that the country should relinquish ‘self-censorship’ in the media to allow information to flow freely and to re-establish currency conversion instead of the current system which sees Uzbek citizens having to go to the black market to get their hands on hard currency at extortionate rates.

With the stability offered by Islam Karimov, at the helm for more than 20 years,  Uzbekistan is indeed the land of economic opportunity for foreign investors.

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Kazakhstan: State Media Muzzled

17 Sep

News reaches Kazaxia that the authorities in Kazakhstan have ordered state-owned media outlets to stick to the accepted party line about events and to not ask awkward questions.

Comments from Darkhan Mynbay, Kazakhstan’s Minister of Culture and Information, carried on Tengri News, said that in the event of emergency situations, Astana will feed information to a pool of officially-sanctioned journos who will then relay the information verbatim.

Kazaxia has been wondering about the inspiration behind this latest move to keep the public uninformed. Could it be linked to the recent visit of Uzbekistan’s President Islam Karimov, a known hater of the free press? In his country media outlets operate under conditions of self-censorship, a way of keeping them in line and ensuring that the message is strictly controlled by Tashkent.

Self-censorship? Now that’s a good idea!

Another possibility are the links that Astana has formed with Tony Blair Associates. Could Tony’s master of the black arts of spin and the sound bite, Alastair Campbell, have been sharing tips with Mr Mynbay from his time dealing with the UK media’s awkward questions?

Blair’s Rottweiler gives tips on spin

A third possibility is the intervention of South Korean President Lee Myung-bak who was also in Astana recently. Maybe he brought a message from his counterpart north of the border as the North Koreans are the masters of media control.

No questions, please – just write what I say!

Whatever the reasoning behind these moves, it’s not going to help the cherished dream of encouraging critical thinking within the populace of Kazakhstan any time soon.

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Kazakhstan: The Road to Rio

7 Sep

Astana is facing an invasion from the Green Army as Kazakhstan begins its attempt to qualify for the 2014 World Cup in Rio this evening with the visit of Ireland to the Astana Arena.  With Ireland fresh from a disappointing performance in Euro 2012, Kazakhstan, on home turf, will be looking to start with a positive result.

The chances of Kazakhstan getting as far as Rio are extremely slim – it’s also up against Germany, Sweden, Austria and the Faroe Islands in group C. Its best hope is to finish above the Faroe Islands and maybe snatch a surprise or two against Ireland or Austria.

Bookies are offering 4/1 on a Kazakhstan victory or 5/2 on the draw for tonight’s match if you think tonight could be the night for a surprise.

Reuters has this comprehensive piece on football development in Kazakhstan if you want to find out more about what’s going on in the soccer world in Kazakhstan.

 

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GooGoosha’s Uzbek Pussy Riot Moment?

9 Aug

While western rock stars have been queueing up to come out in support of Russian punk collective Pussy Riot, Uzbekistan’s diva supreme, Gulnara Karimova, or GooGoosha to her fans, has allegedly come out in support of a cause close to her heart  – money laundering.

Sketchy reports are coming in from Uzbekistan – the land of smoke and mirrors,  that GooGoosha, the eldest daughter of Uzbek president Islam Karimov, was behind a recent protest in Tashkent that targetted the Swiss consulate after two Coca-Cola Uzbekistan executives were arrested in Switzerland for alleged money laundering.

Madonna comes out in support of Pussy Riot

It’s possible that GooGoosha was motivated by musicians such as Sting and Madonna coming out in support of Pussy Riot, currently on trial for insulting Orthodox Christians and getting up Putin’s nose. But it seems she didn’t follow in Madonna’s steps as there were no reports of GooGoosha donning a balaclava.

It was just as well that GooGoosha’s protest was held on a Saturday, when the consulate was closed, as the Tashkent rumour mill hinted that there were plans to invade the building and smother the consulate’s cuckoo clocks in a mixture of fondue and melted chocolate, which would have caused havoc for the time-conscious Swiss.

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Silk Road Imposters Unmasked

8 Aug

Kazaxia has been alerted to some Al Jazeera footage which shows two imposters who posed as ‘leaders’  to gatecrash a meeting discussing the ‘new Silk Road’.

Leaders Discuss ‘new Silk Road’

By using sophisticated facial recognition software, Kazaxia has unveiled two possible identities for the wannabe leaders.

The guy on the left is, according to a moustache-matching process, either Borat Sagdiev or Saddam Hussein.

Saddam Hussein

The guy on the right is either an Aral Sea fisherman from Kazakhstan or an Uzbek called Gavin, a master plov chef.

An Aral Sea Fisherman

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Gavin – Master Plov Chef

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Nobody From Kazakhstan Fights Back

3 Aug

Kazakhstan’s Tengri News website carried this excellent spoof of the Daliy Mail’s outburst of sour grapes over Alexander Vinokourov spoiling Mark Cavendish’s party on day one of the London Olympics.

Alga Kazakhstan!

31 Jul

Team KZ has got off to a flying start at the London Olympics, picking up two gold medals in the first two days of competition.

Veteran cyclist Alexander Vinokourov crowned his chequered career with a gold in the men’s cycling road race, and teenage weightlifter Zulfiya Chinshanlo took gold in the women’s 53 kg class.

Vinokourov sprinted to victory in the 250 km road race, disappointing the home crowd who had been hyped up to expect British success. After taking the road race gold, Vino will take part in the individual time trial, before retiring form the sport at the top. A post at the head of the Kazakhstan Cycling Federation awaits Kazakhstan’s Mr Cycling after he hangs up his trouser clips.

The UK’s Daily Mail was particularly irked by Vino’s victory, calling him, somewhat uncharitably, “an unpopular former blood doping cheat from Kazakhstan” and labelling him a “nobody from Kazakhstan” in its headline.

Mail on Sunday Sport front page - "Nowhere man!" #Olympics #tomorrowspaperstoday

It would seem to the curious world view of the Mail that cycling as a sport has only emerged in recent years, with Britain’s  success at previous Olympics and Bradley Wiggins winning this year’s Tour de France. But we should expect nothing less from the jumped-up little Englanders of the Mail.

In the weightlifting 19-year old Zulfiya Chinshanlo,  probably powered by kazy, lifted more than twice her body weight of 53 kg in the clean and jerk – where she hefted 131 kg , followed by a 95 kg lift in the snatch.

Team KZ is already well on its way to its target of three gold medals from these games, and the boxing and wrestling haven’t really got going yet so Kazaxia is hoping for more Team KZ success.

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Kazakhstan: Foreigners Falling Foul of 120 Day Rule

19 Jun

Anecdotal evidence suggests that Kazakhstan has been witnessing a drop in the numbers of foreigners residing and working in the country following the introduction of business visas that limit stays to 120 days in any one-year period.

The laws were tightened up a few years ago to stop foreigners living and working illegally in the country. The intention was that businesses employing non-citizens would have to get work permits for these staff members. But the process to obtain these permits has proved to be a costly and complicated one that has left many in limbo.

With stays limited to 120 days, it is no longer practical for foreign nationals to work or live in Kazakhstan. This in turn has had an effect on the business sphere as it is now difficult for firms to hire foreign experts without having to stump up a lot of cash upfront and wade through endless red tape. Foreigners are no longer coming on the off-chance that they will be able to find work once they arrive in the country.

There’s been a lot of talk recently about Kazakhstn lifting visa requirements for short-term tourist visas for citizens of ‘developed’ countries. While this may boost tourism, there also needs to be a re-think, about the 120 day law. For somewhere that is trying to make itself one of the world’s 50 most competitive countries, this law is actually harming the coutry’s ability to achieve these aims as it can no longer attract the expertise it needs to move forward.

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