Archive | Kazakhstan RSS feed for this section

Semey: The Toughest Place to be a Waitress

9 Oct

There’s a BBC series called The Toughest Place to be a … which sends train drivers, midwives and suchlike from the UK to do their job in parts of the world where conditions are less amenable.

An  article from Tengri News  makes the city of Semey, in Eastern Kazakhstan, look like  an ideal location if they ever wanted to film ‘The Toughest Place to be a Waitress.’

The  story told how a disgruntled 20-year-old customer started punching her waitress  because she disliked the way she had been served.  It is true that  the quality of waiting staff in Kazakhstan leaves a lot to be desired, but Kazaxia feels that physical violence is not the answer, although sometimes it is tempting.

Tags: ,

Kazakhstan: Dangerous Bohemian Sentenced to 7.5 Years

8 Oct

The people of Kazakhstan can rest easy tonight as the leader of the gang thought to be behind the Zhanaozen violence last December, Vladimir Kozlov, was sentenced to seven and a half years for provoking the unrest and planning to overthrow the state.

During the trial in Aktau, Western Kazakhstan,  Kozlov, the leader of the unregistered Alga! party, was tagged by an ‘expert’ analyst as having a ‘Bohemian personality’.  This was most likely why he decided to form a gang with himself and tried to overthrow the state.

Astana will surely be in a ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’ as its court found Kozlov guilty of the charges laid against him in Kazakhstan’s first show trial of the post-Soviet era.

The whereabouts of Kozlov’s supposed ‘puppet master’ – Mukhtar Ablyazov, remain unknown since he fled Britain in March 2012 after being sent down himself.

Tags: , , , , , ,

Kazakhstan: State Media Muzzled

17 Sep

News reaches Kazaxia that the authorities in Kazakhstan have ordered state-owned media outlets to stick to the accepted party line about events and to not ask awkward questions.

Comments from Darkhan Mynbay, Kazakhstan’s Minister of Culture and Information, carried on Tengri News, said that in the event of emergency situations, Astana will feed information to a pool of officially-sanctioned journos who will then relay the information verbatim.

Kazaxia has been wondering about the inspiration behind this latest move to keep the public uninformed. Could it be linked to the recent visit of Uzbekistan’s President Islam Karimov, a known hater of the free press? In his country media outlets operate under conditions of self-censorship, a way of keeping them in line and ensuring that the message is strictly controlled by Tashkent.

Self-censorship? Now that’s a good idea!

Another possibility are the links that Astana has formed with Tony Blair Associates. Could Tony’s master of the black arts of spin and the sound bite, Alastair Campbell, have been sharing tips with Mr Mynbay from his time dealing with the UK media’s awkward questions?

Blair’s Rottweiler gives tips on spin

A third possibility is the intervention of South Korean President Lee Myung-bak who was also in Astana recently. Maybe he brought a message from his counterpart north of the border as the North Koreans are the masters of media control.

No questions, please – just write what I say!

Whatever the reasoning behind these moves, it’s not going to help the cherished dream of encouraging critical thinking within the populace of Kazakhstan any time soon.

Tags: , , , , ,

Silk Road Imposters Unmasked

8 Aug

Kazaxia has been alerted to some Al Jazeera footage which shows two imposters who posed as ‘leaders’  to gatecrash a meeting discussing the ‘new Silk Road’.

Leaders Discuss ‘new Silk Road’

By using sophisticated facial recognition software, Kazaxia has unveiled two possible identities for the wannabe leaders.

The guy on the left is, according to a moustache-matching process, either Borat Sagdiev or Saddam Hussein.

Saddam Hussein

The guy on the right is either an Aral Sea fisherman from Kazakhstan or an Uzbek called Gavin, a master plov chef.

An Aral Sea Fisherman

img_3004

Gavin – Master Plov Chef

Tags: , , , ,

Nobody From Kazakhstan Fights Back

3 Aug

Kazakhstan’s Tengri News website carried this excellent spoof of the Daliy Mail’s outburst of sour grapes over Alexander Vinokourov spoiling Mark Cavendish’s party on day one of the London Olympics.

Alga Kazakhstan!

31 Jul

Team KZ has got off to a flying start at the London Olympics, picking up two gold medals in the first two days of competition.

Veteran cyclist Alexander Vinokourov crowned his chequered career with a gold in the men’s cycling road race, and teenage weightlifter Zulfiya Chinshanlo took gold in the women’s 53 kg class.

Vinokourov sprinted to victory in the 250 km road race, disappointing the home crowd who had been hyped up to expect British success. After taking the road race gold, Vino will take part in the individual time trial, before retiring form the sport at the top. A post at the head of the Kazakhstan Cycling Federation awaits Kazakhstan’s Mr Cycling after he hangs up his trouser clips.

The UK’s Daily Mail was particularly irked by Vino’s victory, calling him, somewhat uncharitably, “an unpopular former blood doping cheat from Kazakhstan” and labelling him a “nobody from Kazakhstan” in its headline.

Mail on Sunday Sport front page - "Nowhere man!" #Olympics #tomorrowspaperstoday

It would seem to the curious world view of the Mail that cycling as a sport has only emerged in recent years, with Britain’s  success at previous Olympics and Bradley Wiggins winning this year’s Tour de France. But we should expect nothing less from the jumped-up little Englanders of the Mail.

In the weightlifting 19-year old Zulfiya Chinshanlo,  probably powered by kazy, lifted more than twice her body weight of 53 kg in the clean and jerk – where she hefted 131 kg , followed by a 95 kg lift in the snatch.

Team KZ is already well on its way to its target of three gold medals from these games, and the boxing and wrestling haven’t really got going yet so Kazaxia is hoping for more Team KZ success.

Tags: , , , , , , , ,

Kazakhstan: Foreigners Falling Foul of 120 Day Rule

19 Jun

Anecdotal evidence suggests that Kazakhstan has been witnessing a drop in the numbers of foreigners residing and working in the country following the introduction of business visas that limit stays to 120 days in any one-year period.

The laws were tightened up a few years ago to stop foreigners living and working illegally in the country. The intention was that businesses employing non-citizens would have to get work permits for these staff members. But the process to obtain these permits has proved to be a costly and complicated one that has left many in limbo.

With stays limited to 120 days, it is no longer practical for foreign nationals to work or live in Kazakhstan. This in turn has had an effect on the business sphere as it is now difficult for firms to hire foreign experts without having to stump up a lot of cash upfront and wade through endless red tape. Foreigners are no longer coming on the off-chance that they will be able to find work once they arrive in the country.

There’s been a lot of talk recently about Kazakhstn lifting visa requirements for short-term tourist visas for citizens of ‘developed’ countries. While this may boost tourism, there also needs to be a re-think, about the 120 day law. For somewhere that is trying to make itself one of the world’s 50 most competitive countries, this law is actually harming the coutry’s ability to achieve these aims as it can no longer attract the expertise it needs to move forward.

Tags: , ,

Kazakhstan: Praise Heaped on Leader’s Hagiographer

5 Jun

Tory jailbird turned hagiographic biographer, Jonathan Aitken, has received a glowing review for his latest masterpiece Kazakhstan Surprises and Stereotypes from UK academic Andrew Massey.

Massey, a Professor of Politics at the University of Exeter, was full of praise for the old lag’s lavish take on Kazakhstan’s twenty years of independence.

It’s surprising that an academic who specialises in politics seems to have taken Aitken’s line without question on last year’s presidential election which saw the Leader of the Nation romp home against very tame opposition

Indeed, when in 2010-2011 the old Soviet era bureaucrats engineered a referendum to extend the President’s term of office by ten years, Nazerbayev [as received] himself simply called an early Presidential election instead and declared anyone could run against him. There were three other candidates and the incumbent won with over 95% of the vote.

“Anyone could run against him” ??? Maybe Massey’s remit doesn’t spread as far as Kazakh politics. Whatever next – that Kazakhstan has a multi-party democracy? Pull the other one!

Massey also marvelled at Aitken’s unprecedented access to the movers and shakers of Kazakhstan

He visited a large range of institutions and interviewed people at all levels, including opposition leaders, when he could contact them.

Does the “when he could contact them” refer to when the opposition leaders were not sitting behind bars for exercising their right to free assembly?

Maybe the University of Exeter is angling for a piece of the Nazarbayev University action, and such gullibility on the part of its academics will surely help that process along.

Massey’s geography  also leaves a lot to be desired

The last twenty years have seen the birth of a new nation, throwing off the fetters of colonialism and seeking to chart a confident path squeezed between the Russian North, the Chinese East, the barbarous totalitarian regimes to the South and a resurgent Islamic west.

I’m sure Kyrgyzstan will not be pleased to be described as a ” barbarous totalitarian regime”,  and the resurgent Islamic west remains a mystery – could he mean Turkmenistan?

Tags: , , , , , ,

Kazakhstan: Barys Astana Hockey Star’s Agent Speaks Out

17 Apr

The agent of Barys Astana captain, Kevin Dallman, has spoken out after the Astana defenceman hit the headlines in his natvie Canada last week with specualtion over his future role at Kazakhstan’s sole representative in the Continental Hockey League (KHL), Europe’s answer to the NHL.

Dallman’s agent said that his client’s contract is due to expire on 30 April and terms had been agreed for an extension, but the star’s wife, Stacy Dallman, is pregnant and the couple has not yet decided where to have the baby. This refutes allegations made in the Canadian press about why the Dallman’s had left Kazakhstan.

The Toronto Sun carried a story on 11 April that reported Stacy Dallman had been refused a Kazakhstan visa apparently because of a controversial blog she wrote about Kazakhstan, Adventures in Kaziland, while living in Kazakhstan. This post in particular seems to have got someone’s back up.

According to the agent, we will have to wait and see what happens after the ice hockey world championships in May when the final word on whether Dallman  will be playing in Kazakhstan next season will be given.

 

 

 

Tags: , , , , , ,

Kazakhstan: President Set to Annoint Successor

1 Apr

According to the Astana rumour-mill, Kazakhstan’s long-serving president Nursultan Nazarbayev is set to announce his plans for a ‘khandover’ of power – he is set to pass the baton to a young boy named Sultan, rumoured to be the leader’s son.

But there’s a catch – the change will not happen until at least 2046 when Sultan turns 40. President Nazarbayev, who is exempt from term limits, will be turning 115 when he steps down.

A spokesman close to the president confirmed this wait “According to the constitution, which can, of course, be amended on a whim at short notice, Sultanchick will have to wait until he reaches the age of 40 to take over from the incumbent. But he is happy to wait, as are the people of Kazakhstan, who are willing to wait indefinitely for the right man to take over”.

The President's spokesperson

“This move to appoint a new leader shows that Kazakhstan is firmly on the path to democracy. Sultan is our Khan!” the spokesman added.

Sultan was seen in public for the first time on 4 March at a hockey match in Astana with President Nazarbayev leaning across to chat with the young lad.  The appearance sparked heated debate in the local press about the kid’s identity.

Exiled opposition leader Mukhtar Aliyev, speaking from his secret hideout in the south of France, welcomed the news. “This shows that change is coming at last to Kazakhstan. Hopefully there’ll be a free and fair election in 2046,” he told kazaxia. His Algazat party is already preparing for the election.

Fugitive opposition leader Mukhtar Aliyev pictured at his secret hideaway

Experts on Kazakhstan agreed the scenario was workable. “This move will help to ensure a smooth succession in the corridors of power in Astana. It’s worked in North Korea, Azerbaijan and Syria so I don’t see why it can’t work in Kazakhstan”,  British politician and Akorda aficionado Lord Venal told kazaxia.

Tags: , , , , , , ,

← Older Entries
Newer Entries →