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Kazakhstan: Village People Target Marriage

21 May

On a rising tide of intolerance in Kazakhstan, an anti-gay splinter group calling itself Aulbaylar (Village People), representing traditional Kazakhstani rural values, has threatened to target marriage.

“The vast majority of gays and lesbians were brought up in the traditional nuclear family environment so we plan to build walls around zags [registry office] buildings and put a stop to this pernicious institution of marriage,” a spokesperson for Aulbaylar told kazxaia.

The spokesperson pointed out that conventional marriages are by far the main contributor to rising numbers of gay and lesbian people on planet earth.

This latest threatened wall-erection comes a week after a group built a wall in front of a gay club in the commercial capital to protest same-sex marriage – a strange thing to do as same-sex weddings do not exist in Kazakhstan.

Kazaxia asked Doctor Gött of The Gött Institute of Sexology to verify these claims about the link between homosexuality and marriage.

Statistics prove that you are far more likely to be gay or lesbian if brought up by a heterosexual married couple rather than a same-sex one. The arguments about gay adoption and same-sex marriage simply don’t wash,” Gött told kazaxia by email.

Kazakhstan: Nauryz Under Threat?

21 Mar

As Kazakhstan prepares to celebrate Nauryz, fears are growing  that this year could be the last time that the festival is celebrated as more details of Project Verny, the sinister plot to annex the country, are revealed.

A spokesperson for Project Verny told kazaxia that “Nauryz does not conform to the cultures and traditions of ethnic Russians living in Central Asia. When the region is incorporated into the Central Asian Federal District, the festival will be replaced by  a more Russia-focused celebration”.

Nauryz, the spring equinox celebration in Kazakhstan, is celebrated on March 22 and marks the start of the new year. The holiday was banned in Soviet times and was only revived in the 1990s after the Soviet yoke was thrown off.

After the annexation of Crimea by a Russian-backed goblin army, Kazakhstan could be next on the list. Following annexation, nauryz could be replaced with an Easter-themed holiday for this Muslim-majority region, a celebration of Lenin’s birth or a commemoration of the day Vladimir Zhirinovsky became a member of the komsomol in his native Alma-ata, present-day Almaty.

[Editor’s note: Zhirinovsky is being mooted as the de-facto leader of the proposed Central Asian Federal District. The capital of the region will be Almaty, reverting to its one-time name of Verny].

Kazakhstan: Project Verny Unmasked

10 Mar

Project Verny, the sinister operation that may see Kazakhstan and other Central Asian states being annexed by the Russian Federation, is gaining momentum after secret meetings in Moscow last week.

Russian nationalist troublemaker Vladimir Zhirinovsky started the Project Verny ball rolling on February 23 when he called for called for the establishment of Russia’s “Central Asian Federal Region,” with “Verny” – the Russian Tsarist-colonial era name of Almaty, as its capital.

Following Russia’s illegal occupation of Crimea, a part of the sovereign territory of Ukraine, the initiative has picked up speed with incumbent Kazakhstan president Nursultan Nazarbayev summoned to the Kremlin on March 5 to discuss the project with Russian president Vladimir Putin.

It is believed that President Nazarbayev will be allowed to stay on as a figurehead president, with Zhirinovsky, who was born and raised in Alma-ata, the Soviet-colonial era name of Almaty, pulling the strings. This role is a reward for Zhirinovsky’s decades-long service as a faithful lackey to the Kremlin.

Karaganda in central Kazakhstan could be used as the transit point for Russia’s bully boys. Local self defence units and whip-toting Cossack thugs can be flown into the city via a recently-initiated Aeroflot flight from Moscow. Karaganda has a sizeable Russian-speaking population and is just three-hours journey for Kazakhstan’s capital Astana.

The catalyst for flying in local self-defence forces could come from a bizarre incident involving a pensioner and a lift in Astana. Olga Matvienko, a 74 year-old from Astana, told kazaxia that she was left befuddled after riding in a Kazakh-speaking lift recently.

The lift’s automated voice read out numbers such as “bir,” “tort” and “besh”, leaving the life-long resident of Kazakhstan, who has no knowledge of the Kazakh language, stranded as she tried to find the third floor.

“This voice kept on saying “tort” [cake in Russian] and I was very confused,” Matvienko told kazaxia. “I implore Vladimir Ilyich to protect my rights as a Russian-speaker in Tselinograd.”

[Editor’s note: the pensioner seems to have muddled up her Vladimirs; she probably means Vladimir Vladimirovich [Putin] here rather than Vladimir Ilyich [Lenin]. Also, no-one appears to have informed her that Tselinograd – the Soviet-colonial era name – is now known as Astana].

Could this strange case be the casus belli that Vladimir Vladimirovich and Vladimir Wolfovich [Zhirinovsky] have been waiting for to grab  land in what they see as their Central Asian backyard?

Kazakhstan: Almaty Tenge Devaluation Protest in Pictures

15 Feb
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Abai looks on as workers clear snow from the square in front of Republic Palace demonstrators wanted to protest on

Protestors gathered today in Almaty, Kazakhstan to protest about the 20% devaluation of the tenge on February 11. A few hundred protestors marched from the square by Republic Palace to City Hall but before the demonstrators could reach New Square, police snatch squads moved in to detain around 30 people. For more background, check out this piece on EurasiaNet.org.

 

A protestor is bundled away by the police in Almaty

A protestor is bundled away by the police in Almaty

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Almaty Prosecutor tells crowd to disperse or face arrest for holding a rally without the ten day’s notice required by law – no notice is needed for a devaluation of the tenge.

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A protestor is arrested and taken away by the police in Almaty

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Nice shades – some KNB head honcho?

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Lines of police ready for lunch after a busy day’s work

Alga Shaky Kangaroos!

1 Oct

Kazakhstan’s Shakhter Karagandy, better known to some UK supporters as the Shaky Kangaroos, is set to make its home debut in the Europa League this Thursday with the visit of Israel’s Maccabi Haifa to the Astana Arena, where Shakhter are playing its home legs. It is the first time a team from Kazakhstan has reached the group stages of Europe’s second tier contest.

Kazaxia is predicting a close run thing with both clubs losing their openers in Group L, with Shakhter losing 2-1 to Greece’s PAOK and Maccabi going down 1-0 at home to Holland’s AZ Alkmaar.

According to Lord Venal, the result will hinge on whether or not Shakhter will be allowed to sacrifice a sheep before the match. It was prevented from doing this before its second leg tie with Scotland’s Glasgow Celtic and subsequently lost 3-0 and failed to qualify for the Champions League.

The match has sparked a lot of interest in Kazakhstan with some fans even prepared to travel overnight by bus from the business hub of Almaty to the capital Astana.

For 20,000 tenge ($130) the bus will take the fans from Almaty’s Central Stadium to the Astana Arena with guaranteed match tickets, before making the 12-hour or so journey back down south. Kazaxia hopes that the trip will be worth it for these die hard fans.

Contrasting Marathon Responses in Central Asia

27 Apr

There have been contrasting responses to the Boston marathon bombings in Central Asia. While Uzbekistan has decided to cancel its marathon, Kazakhstan has decided to press ahead with its event in Almaty on 28 April.

The Almaty marathon will begin with a minute of silence for the Boston victims. The charity marathon is being run for the second year running and it’s expected to attract around 5,000 participants.

Meanwhile in Uzbekistan, the organisers pulled the plug on its race because of unspecified security threats. The marathon was being overseen by organisations close to Gulnara Karimova, the eldest daughter of President Islom Karimov.

Instead, a charity concert will be held – although at the time of writing it was not clear if Gulnara’s alter-ego, GooGoosha would be taking to the stage.

These two reactions show the contrasting natures of the Central Asian neighbours – Uzbekistan always plays up threats to its security and is spooked by terrorism, whereas Kazakhstan seems to be opting for the path of not giving in to terrorists.

Kazakhstan Cool on Links with Georgia, Azerbaijan Football League

17 Apr

Could Kazakhstan be on the verge of joining forces with Georgia and Azerbaijan to form a trans-Caspian football league?

If reports from NEWS.am, an Armenian source, are to be believed then the Georgian Football Federation is about to submit plans to the Union of European Football Unions (UEFA) for a super league combining the leagues of Georgia, Azerbaijan and Kazakhstan. It appears that the Armenians are not invited.

The report ends with a denial from the Kazakhstan Football Federation, announcing that it has no plans to join such a league. This is probably a wise move as the travel for away matches would be huge. If, for instance, FC Dinamo Batumi were to face Almaty’s FC Kairat, they would be looking at an 8,600 km round trip. Not a very attractive prospect for either the players or the travelling supporters.

An added complication would be the fact that Kazakhstan’s top division plays its football from March to November, while Georgia and Azerbaijan play in the winter months from September to May.

Free Kazakh Films in Almaty for Nauryz

20 Mar

In the run-up to and during the Nauryz  holiday in Kazakhstan, Almaty’s City Mayor’s office is offering the chance to see some Kazakh films that have been making a splash on the nation’s screens in recent years. There will be free screenings of a number of Kazakh films at cinemas all over Almaty from March 20-25.

The films on show include Shal (The Old Man) and Kelin (The Bride) by Kazakh director Yermek Tursunov and Zheruik (Promised Land), which deals with the mass deportations of Koreans to Central Asia in World War II.

For a full list of what’s on and where, check out this link.

Kazakhstan: Will horse meat be on the table at Iran nuke talks?

21 Feb

As the horse meat scandal gallops on apace in Europe, delegates arriving in Almaty for the P5 + 1 – Iran Talks might want to take a close look at what they are being served to eat. Following a quick check of outlets in Almaty, Kazaxia has discovered a wide range of products containing horse DNA openly on sale.

On a frosty Wednesday morning, kazy, a smoked horse meat sausage, was widely available in shops and markets. In restaurants and cafes our correspondent was able to choose from a wide range of dishes laced with horse meat.

Plov adorned with kazy (horse meat sausage)

A generous serving of plov adorned with kazy (horse meat sausage)

These included besbarmak, Kazakhstan’s national dish – chunks of horse meat served with strips of pasta and washed down with a horsey broth and steaming dishes of plov, a rice-based dish sometimes adorned with slices of kazy. Kumys, fermented mares milk, is  a favourite tipple that is often served with these meals.

The Kazakhs pride themselves on their hospitality and it is unlikely that the delegates will be able to leave before eating their fill of horse meat. For the squeamish delegates, it is probably better to play the vegetarian card, but they will have to put up with sliced cucumber and tomato smothered in mayonnaise – the only known salad found in Kazakhstan.

Staying on the horse meat theme, in neighbouring Turkmenistan mystery surrounds the disappearance of 120 prized Akhal-Teke horses from the national stables over the last two years. Could these beautiful thoroughbreds somehow have ended up in a value burger on Europe’s dining tables?

Kazakhstan’s Toy Protest

29 Mar

In another sign that Kazakhstan’s nascent protest movement is withering on the vine, kazaxia has received this photo of a toy protest, allegedly from Almaty.

While  toy protests in Russia and Belarus have targeted the authorities, Kazakhstan’s toys seem to be coming out in support of the status quo.

The toys can be seen holding placards proclaiming ” The leader is our leader” and  “We love NAN” [possibly a reference to the president’s initials or a flat bread cooked in a tandoor oven].