The Sultan’s PR: “I would’ve done it cheaper – and better!”

16 May

16 May 2018

As Uzbekistan’s high-level delegation descends upon Washington DC, gaining lashings of positive PR along the way, Lord Venal has vented his lingering sorrow and distress that Kazakhstan’s embassy in Washington did not choose him to provide PR support for visionary President Nursultan Nazarbayev’s landmark visit to President Donald Trump at the White House in January.


POTUS welcomes the Kazakh delegation to the White House

“This summit was historic and put any other summit completely in the shade,” the well-connected peer told Kazaxia. “Even a Trump/Little Rocket Man summit would pale in comparison. Why the Kazakhstan Embassy went for such PR amateurs is a mystery to me.”

The Embassy’s choice of Portland PR Inc cost the country $95,000. “For much less than that I would have arranged wall-to-wall TV coverage, including prime-time on the major networks, a dedicated website and mobile phone app, a book tie-in deal with my old friend Jonathan Aitken, and an option on a multi-million dollar Netflix movie. All they could manage as far as I can see is two billboards outside Effing Missouri.”

Lord Venal had earlier voiced distress that his mooted book on life inside Akorda was summarily binned after Trump’s unhappy experiences.

“Those of us in the PR business have to take the rough with the smooth,” Lord Venal sighed, as he clutched his cocktail in a fashionable nightclub. His young companion smiled sympathetically.




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