Lord Venal, in his unofficial capacity as the UK’s roving trade envoy in Central Asia, has identified Uzbekistan as a ‘golden opportunity’ for securing new markets for British manufacturing following the pro-Brexit vote in June.
‘We are now in an exciting new phase of UK-Uzbekistan relations,’ Lord Venal told kazaxia. ‘As in the UK, Uzbekistan has recently seen a change of leadership from within the ruling clique, without bothering to ask the voters.’ (Editor’s note: Uzbekistan will hold presidential elections on 4 December, no date has been set for an election in the UK yet)
Canned plov – coming to the UK soon?
‘We are now in the post-Karexit era (Editor’s note: Karexit refers to former President Islam Karimov’s recent demise) and Britain is in a unique position to fix up some exciting trade deals with new president Shavkat Mirziyoyev.’
One area where the UK excels is in selling arms to dodgy regimes. Uzbekistan, according to Lord Venal, is always in the market for new weaponry to keep its oppressed masses under the cosh.
Classic shortbread finger biscuits on white surface
He also noted that Uzbekistan is similar to the UK as it a nation of tea drinkers. He envisages great opportunities for the UK’s shortbread manufacturers as the biscuit sector in Uzbekistan remains under-developed.
This will please leader of the opposition in the UK, Jeremy ‘Jez we can’ Corbyn, who described the buttery biscuit as his fave in an interview with Mumsnet recently.
Move over, black cabs
It’s not all a one-way street – Lord Venal is a big fan of Uzbekistan’s national dish plov, now available for export in cans. Could it replace Chicken Tikka Masala in the nation’s hearts? And could we one day see Uz-Daewoo Tico Tuk Tuk’s replacing black cabs on London’s streets?
Kazaxia 
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